...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
