I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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