i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
