Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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