I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
All I want is dick and wine.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
