Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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