you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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