Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
