Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
