Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
