You can't motorboat a personality
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
