I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
