he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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