And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
