Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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