just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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