Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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