He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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