He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
