Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
