I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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