Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
