What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize