She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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