so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize