I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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