don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just puked most of my soul out..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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