so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
