drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
