No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
