I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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