I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So squirting runs in the family.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize