I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
