god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
