That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
