Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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