the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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