I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
