I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
handjob tips. give me some.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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