ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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