dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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