in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
