I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
