Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
