I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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