My vagina just recognized that song.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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