I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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