So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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