Plan B is the new Plan A
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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