dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
