i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
