In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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