i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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