she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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