Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
