I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
