I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
