I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
