OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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