This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
