everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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