Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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