I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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