I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize