i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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