I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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