Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
