Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
