So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
