I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This is my gift to your gina
Drake has all the answers
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
