Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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