She's JV to your varsity
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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