is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
