Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize